Category Archives: disabilty

Narcissism, BPD, Bipolar, Mastery and Slavery

“and the DSM-IV diagnostic criteria for Narcissistic Personality Disorder came up. These include “has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations””.

This quote is from a well thought out post by Tanos on Entitlement, posted in his weblog and linked from the ownership wiki on The Slave Register

I lived with someone with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. Looking back on it he had a somewhat D/s relationship with his lover, who had obvious Borderline traits. However there was no sense of mastery in his actions, attitudes, etc., merely entitlement without responsibility. Looking at my own behaviour I do, of course, act entitled, while at the same time discouraging such acting in my slaves. But I have a sense of responsibility and a dedication to them and their lives that is simply lacking from the purview of someone with NPD. I will and do take risks, including the risk of simply being an overt Master in a country where human ownership, consensual or not, is simply illegal. And that is a minor one given all the things in our lives.

A couple in our local scene are an obvious NPD/BPD couple, and the two tend to go together. While he seems to take reasonable care of his charge I feel a sense of creeping unease in their presence. Although emmie and mitda (and I myself) have all been diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder 1 it doesn’t seem to have any direct bearing on our M/s relationship. Obviously my moods and theirs impact the day to day functioning of that relationship but I can’t say I see an overall tendency that runs from BP symptomology to M/s dealings.


On a day when …

… my back is killing me, I’m working from home and not getting much accomplished … the girls are out at the doctor/drug store/market … and wev else, I’m thinking about the issue of Mentally Interesting persons involved in D/s type relationships.

I had someone (a submissive) yesterday telling me why their husband couldn’t dominate them them (whisper: he is bipolar). Ahem. So am I. In discussing it with her, though, it came out that he also has BPD. This is a very different matter as BPD’s have emotional and not just mood issues. Let me clarify a bit as to what I mean by this.

Mood is defined by a philosopher of note to me as the self-disclosure of the current “how” of one’s being. This is as much as to say, that when one asks how one “is”, i.e. the question about the how of one’s being, one is really asking about mood. Which is, in fact, pretty accurate. Emotions are different than moods from the get-go, because we have emotions in reaction to things, events, people, that are in-the-world.

Someone with emotional issues, then, is reactive to the world (and to him/herself) in a problematic way. This is not good for a Dominant. In terms of dominating someone one first has to be in control of one’s reactions, and to a greater degree than most, because one’s own actions and those of one’s submissives will both tend to push one’s buttons, assuming one has buttons to push.

There can be issues with having a bipolar Master, to be sure, such as inconsistency in different moods, and a tendency to be extreme and to expect extremes from one’s submissives. But these issues can be dealt with, particularly if the submissives involved know mood extremes themselves and have similar tendencies. BPD is problematic, though, and I would expect that a BPD would have to have explored themselves to a very high degree, and probably in specific form have had very successful dialectical therapy, before one would wish to submit to their overly reactive personalities.


On a day when …

… my back is killing me, I’m working from home and not getting much accomplished … the girls are out at the doctor/drug store/market … and wev else, I’m thinking about the issue of Mentally Interesting persons involved in D/s type relationships.

I had someone (a submissive) yesterday telling me why their husband couldn’t dominate them them (whisper: he is bipolar). Ahem. So am I. In discussing it with her, though, it came out that he also has BPD. This is a very different matter as BPD’s have emotional and not just mood issues. Let me clarify a bit as to what I mean by this.

Mood is defined by a philosopher of note to me as the self-disclosure of the current “how” of one’s being. This is as much as to say, that when one asks how one “is”, i.e. the question about the how of one’s being, one is really asking about mood. Which is, in fact, pretty accurate. Emotions are different than moods from the get-go, because we have emotions in reaction to things, events, people, that are in-the-world.

Someone with emotional issues, then, is reactive to the world (and to him/herself) in a problematic way. This is not good for a Dominant. In terms of dominating someone one first has to be in control of one’s reactions, and to a greater degree than most, because one’s own actions and those of one’s submissives will both tend to push one’s buttons, assuming one has buttons to push.

There can be issues with having a bipolar Master, to be sure, such as inconsistency in different moods, and a tendency to be extreme and to expect extremes from one’s submissives. But these issues can be dealt with, particularly if the submissives involved know mood extremes themselves and have similar tendencies. BPD is problematic, though, and I would expect that a BPD would have to have explored themselves to a very high degree, and probably in specific form have had very successful dialectical therapy, before one would wish to submit to their overly reactive personalities.


A Blah Tuesday

Last week, after many years of avoiding psychiatry, emelina was diagnosed with a number of complaints (no, sexual deviancy wasn’t among them).  Aside from the shock of actually dealing with a diagnosis, she has been dealing with the side effects of the medication she was put on and hasn’t managed a day of work since, although she has tried going into work twice now. 

Family income isn’t really a big issue at the moment.  We can survive off my income and E’s income quite nicely.  It would be great if emelina can get disability but nobody’s really getting their hopes up on that, we know too much about the SSA and their methods of avoiding awarding disability, especially to psych. patients.

So not the fun type of day we had on Sunday, although we started off the morning with some good group morning sex.  I decided to work from home after realizing I needed to learn some things about my current project code base and didn’t want to do that learning in front of my colleagues.

mitda and emelina should be back shortly from the misadventure at work.  I suppose we’ll discuss what can be done to either help her get back to functioning or deal with her being at home with mitda.


A Blah Tuesday

Last week, after many years of avoiding psychiatry, emelina was diagnosed with a number of complaints (no, sexual deviancy wasn’t among them).  Aside from the shock of actually dealing with a diagnosis, she has been dealing with the side effects of the medication she was put on and hasn’t managed a day of work since, although she has tried going into work twice now. 

Family income isn’t really a big issue at the moment.  We can survive off my income and E’s income quite nicely.  It would be great if emelina can get disability but nobody’s really getting their hopes up on that, we know too much about the SSA and their methods of avoiding awarding disability, especially to psych. patients.

So not the fun type of day we had on Sunday, although we started off the morning with some good group morning sex.  I decided to work from home after realizing I needed to learn some things about my current project code base and didn’t want to do that learning in front of my colleagues.

mitda and emelina should be back shortly from the misadventure at work.  I suppose we’ll discuss what can be done to either help her get back to functioning or deal with her being at home with mitda.