After a hectic last day of packing, arranging changes of service to the new place and signing the lease, we had a boon in the way of a borrowed teenager (offspring of a friend) who had no trouble helping us get out a few heavy things to the curb for garbage pickup, and moving most of my music studio to the new house (some of that stuff is just too delicate for me to trust to movers).
So tomorrow is d-day, emmie and I move to a new house, the first place that is just ours, emmie, myself and the (now 14 yr old) kidlet. It’s a good deal smaller but with one less adult and a better floorplan it should do nicely. With the quirkiness of 80’s interior design plus cathedral ceilings and everything built lower than usual (it was built for someone with physical disabilities so many of the things like windowsills, sinks etc. are lower than usual, it does feel a bit like a fairytale house. Not to mention the fairytale ending of getting it at the last minute when ever other plan fell through.
It does feel like a fresh start, and a good one if signs are as auspicious as they seem.
I realized my previous post might be somewhat confusing in a blog mainly about relationships. To clarify, I don’t consider ambition relevant to relationships at all. Feeling done with ambition doesn’t affect the goals I have for my relationship with Emmie whatsoever.
Since having a particular experience a while back I find I lack very much in the way of ambition.
The smaller ambitions are no longer driven by the one central drive, since it’s been accomplished. This was driven home to me the other day when emmie was making plans to save a portion of her income for something major she wants. She asked what I wanted and, other than replacing things that will eventually wear out, I had nothing I really, blindingly wanted to accomplish and thus nothing I needed to do so. I do have a weakness for things I don’t need but those tend to be smaller, more impulsive wants, not the type of thing you plan for.
Of course there’s plenty I could still do, but they’re really just more of the same things I’ve done. The ‘essential’ potentials are exhausted. I might do any of those things better, or worse or the same as before but before they were all in preparation, now there is nothing further for which to prepare.