Now that the dust has settled around our household things are remarkably normal, seemingly. From all appearances I live with my girlfriend, both of us in the process of separating / divorcing our spouses. Her son lives with us, aside from being mildly autistic and being a little socially delayed as a result he’s a pretty average young teenager. Well, maybe due to the delay he still seems a bit more of a tween than an actual teenager. This weekend he’s visiting with emmie’s ex, who is really the main father type in his life. He’s known him as long as he can remember and lived with him the majority of his life.
Of course “normal” only applies to people you don’t know very well … if anything the changes have intensified the dynamic between myself and emmie. Taking the politics that are inevitable in a poly situation out of play has allowed us to simply be Master / slave in a more natural way, neither of us having to hold things back due to the politics of the multifaceted relationships involved when mitda was here.
I’m finally able to start enjoying the positive aspects of the many changes, of which I’m discovering a good number daily. I enjoy emmie’s devotion and I love the unfettered way she’s able to express it. It’s not simply a matter of being comfortable enough to be “oneself”, it’s more a matter of being able to be any way you want to be, however extreme that may be at given times, without having to hold anything back because it would make things difficult with the other person involved. Not that there aren’t advantages to a poly household as well, but I’m finding on balance that things have become much more to my liking the way they are now.
From the external family perspective of course things are much easier. Although due to past events emmie was “outed” completely to her family, and my family appear to just always know what’s going on without my telling them anything, it’s simpler for them to behave as if we were a completely vanilla couple. Although still in the process of extricating ourselves from past ties, they can deal with us as a couple much more easily now The awkwardness of it being a triad is simply something they can pretend to forget was ever the case. Yes it’s pretty faux, but most people would rather live in a more comfortable fiction than have to deal with the reality of something outside their admitted experience.