I’ve never been in the situation after a relationship breakup where the other person felt the need to bad mouth me, so the fallout from mitda’s leaving the triad has been somewhat of a surprise.
Of course I’ve seen it happen in others’ breakups, even to the point of delusion that mitda is currently demonstrating. It’s difficult to reconcile it with the person I cared about for so long. The result is that for all intents and purposes she’s dead to me at this point. The person I was with isn’t recognizable in her current behaviour.
It has also forced me to reconsider the desire to not put others through any feelings of having to “take sides”. In my more civil breakups there was never a need to, but in this case I simply can’t trust anyone that remains in contact with her, since they must at least partially believe her delusions in order to remain in contact with her at all. If that means dropping people who continue to associate with her then so be it.