Monthly Archives: February 2010

Topology and M/s

In the topology of an M/s situation the members are situated in such a manner that the “between” of each member’s place is the conjoining of the members themselves, in that they are not isolated subject-things but are the “open” that creates the place in which they can appear to one another as the people they are.  As a result there is no “between” in the common sense of a space between objects (subjects) but a shared place that is constituted by the members themselves.  Each “place”, and the situation-place as a whole has differences that imply what is appropriate for each member as far as duties and comportment to the other members and to any other beings that appear in that clearing.  Since there is nothing fundamentally relational about the topology I dislike referring to it as a relationship.

Each M/s topology, as well, is unique,  being a topology of the individuals within it and their proper places.  The event of appropriation itself determines what “proper” means in this instance, made more explicit through the alternative translation as the pairing of enownment/enslavement.

The underlying difference between the Master and slave in their comportment is that the Master’s comportment is always firstly a listening, while the slave’s is always firstly a hearing.  The similarity is intentional, but the implied difference is crucial.  Hearing, horen in anglo saxon, meant both to hear and to obey, with no differentiation.  A proper hearing, then, implies obedience.  The Master, though, listens.  Any speaking, especially an ordering speaking, is simultaneously a careful listening.  The care taken in the listening is what determines the appropriateness of the ordering.  Without careful listening the ordering is arbitrary and leads to tyranny rather than mastery.


Thoughts on ‘Fairness’ after the MAsT Meeting

“Heidegger proposes the thesis that Dasein (human being) is, in itself, ‘essentially Being-with’ (BT, p. 120)”

“(Man) operates with an objectifying conception of what it is to be human. This is the conception of the ‘subject’ character of a living human being which I have called the metaphysics of the subject.”

“Heidegger characterises humanist anthropology as that tradition in which what is called ‘man’ is defined by setting it off as one kind of entity present among others. Of course, human beings are not then simply equated with mere things or even with other living creatures. On the contrary, ‘man’ is accorded a specific and special difference: ‘man’ is the animal endowed with the power of reason or language” and then ‘this insufficient definition of man’s essence [can] be overcome or offset by outfitting man with an immortal soul’ or by ‘adjoining a soul to the human body, a mind to the soul . . . and then louder than before singing the praises of the mind.’ (LH, pp. 228–9).

‘Heidegger’s alternative begins with the complete rejection of the idea that something like ‘access to the world’ is merely a fortunate, secondary supplement, a supplementary benefit, to our existence: for the entity that we are, ‘being in a world is something that belongs essentially’ (BT, p. 13).’

He calls this phenomenon ‘being-in-the-world’ in order to stress, as a compound word, that this is a unitary phenomenon and not a relation between two things, i.e. a part of man intrinsically.

He then additionally coins the compound word Mitsein, or ‘being-with’ to underscore that one’s being with others is not an accidental relation between two daseins, but a part of each. As a result ‘being-with’ is non relational in its basis.

In the usual subject – subject relation, then, we are positing 3 things as present, each subject along with the relation. In opposition to this Heidegger posits that being-with is part of each dasein, thereby omitting the relation. As mitsein progresses to mitdasein (being-there-with) the space in which one is joins, as a result each dasein becomes a part of one thing.

At the end, then, what we refer to as a ‘relationship’ is essentially non-relational. This sharing of spatiality involves also a sharing of worldview. Instead of being spatial in oneself, the important issue becomes ‘place’. And in terms of place appropriateness becomes key. Heidegger terms this as Ereignis, or the “event of appropriation’, intending appropriation as both a ‘taking’ and a ‘putting in a proper place’.


Kinky Wilde-isms

These are posted without attribution … since attribution would only indicate a nickname on an anonymous site.

kink is the refuge of homely, limited people; but the ruin of attractive,
talented ones.

after illusion, perversity is the greatest of life’s pleasures, and the
preoccupation of genius.

there is no such thing as a “kinky” or “vanilla” person; people are either
interesting and charming–or boring and charmless.

polygamy is having too many partners; monogamy is exactly the same.

Kinksters refuse to be constrained by the pointless rules and expectations of
mundane society, preferring to be constrained by the pointless rules and
expectations of other kinksters.

To regain consciousness in a paramedic ambulance after ONE play session is
merely an accident; for it to happen TWICE is outright carelessness.

I like talking to brick walls, doormats and my property; the only things in
the world that don’t dare contradict me.

a little submission is a charming thing; a great deal of it, grotesque.

ownership and control-freakishness are really the same thing.

other masters and slaves are quite phony; the only genuine ones are me and
mine.

A man in his vice is an ugly thing, a woman in it is heavenly.

Sadist: One who, when he has the choice of two evils, chooses both.

The man who can dominate a London dinner-table can dominate the world.

“patio”: the name breathplayers give to their mistakes

Consensuality is the last refuge of the timid.

I like women better than clothes, and I like women with no clothes better than
anything else in the world.

The only difference between pain and ecstasy is attitude.

A Man’s face is his autobiography; his sub’s ass is his blog.

Blind ambition is an excellent start, ballgagged ambition is better.

The moment a Dominant must declare he has the authority in a situation he has
lost it.

To see yourself in your submissive is the product of incessant narcissism, or
fantastic oral.

If one could merely teach submissives how to talk, and dominants how to
listen, FetLife would be quite civilized.

People are not good or bad, they are merely charming or Gorean.

The ability to whimper is a serviceable substitute for passion.

It is better to stay silent and be thought a fool, than to be punished for
speaking without permission.

There’s a love that dare not speak its name; sadly, there’s also a love that
won’t ever shut the fuck up.

Many bdsm intimacies begin on the internet. and end in disaster.

There are many men a woman will submit to just to get rid of them.

“I’ve had a lovely beating… But this wasn’t it”.

I no longer attend play-parties; some of the women look as if they were poured
into their corsets and forgot to say “when!”

Many slaves are so grotesquely unattractive that I must resist the urge to flog
their mothers.

You can tell a lot about a man’s background and breeding from the cut of his
assless chaps.

He wears his leathers as if they were thrown on him with a pitchfork

There’s no way to distinguish between a good pro domme and a bad one. sooner
or later, out pops the fat ass.

She was raised in a poly household. they were too poor to practice monogamy.

If a “piece of property” wants to remain with her owner, all she has to do is
cater to what is most ugly in him.

Fetishes do not cease to be funny when people die any more than they cease to
be serious when people laugh.

24/7 master/slave is the marriage of meanness and martyrdom

bdsm divides people into sadists and masochists, or dominants and submissives;
it has no category for the truly original and unique.

bdsm with a woman is sometimes a vast improvement over wanking; but it takes
more imagination than most people have to really make it work

there is no sadder creatrue in the world than a woman who craves a man’s
spanking but has to settle for the whole man

bdsm “morality” is like a sexually-transmitted disease; the first stage is
called “honor, the second stage “honesty”, the final stage “community”.

there are many unfortunate women in bdsm who have to play mommy in order to
hang on to their daddy

romantics place their loves on a pedestal; sadists tie them across it

masters are the bosses in their homes; their slaves merely make all the
decisions

when their “property” demands release, most owners swing into action; they
immediately clean out the cage for rental.

People ask who is more imaginative, male dominants or female dominants? If you
ask me, the most imaginative creature is the male submissive who arrives late
to see a domme.

perversity is the daddy of invention

if sex is the spice of life, than sadism is the industrial acid

it’s fortunate that most bdsm “mentors” are too stupid to conceal their
dishonesty with deceit

I will never tolerate being called “master” in my own home

I have no issues with most doms calling themselves “sir”, “lord” or “master”;
after all, they are all napoleons of stupid.

I will never pay for porn nor support FL; I have no intention of bolstering
the capitalist system.

I have tremendous respect for her; she worked herself up from homeless teenage
runaway to beta-slave in a leather family

_many women face a terrible dilemma on FL; is he cheating on his wife or
hiding from his mother?

what’s the point of having a switch if you can’t turn her on and off?

There is nothing in the world like the devotion of a real slave, it’s a thing
that no Master knows anything about.

the amount of female gossip on these threads is shocking. it’s like washing
one’s dirty hitachi in public.

self-control is an essential element of a dominant’s character; it allows one
to peruse FL pix without bursting into laughter or puking.

the problem with human “property” is not that it depreciates, but that you
can’t even recycle it.

living with an extreme mascochist is not for the frugal; your water and
electrical bills go through the roof

If it’s not cheating as long as your spouse doesn’t know, is your spouse
really filing for divorce if you don’t know?

pervs confess to their more harmless fetishes in order to conceal the truly
sick ones

for most people, virtues are vices in disguise; for pervs, it’s the opposite

neither the sun nor death nor a fat slob in leather can be looked at with
unflinching gaze

I only engage in pervy sex to remind myself I’m not the center of the universe

the real art of topping is to know how far you can go too far

your problems getting laid are not necessarily due to gender politics

it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, and quacks like jay wiseman

To have one’s fist stuck inside a dubious girl, may be regarded as a
misfortune; to have both stuck looks like carelessness.

never judge a person by the clothes (s)he wears; never judge fetish-clothing
by the person wearing them

if clothes make the man, fetish-clothing usually ruins him

riding a new york city subway is perfect prepartion for attending a new york
city fetish-party

if FL wants to attract an even edgier crowd, it should be renamed as
facefuckbook

slaves are like sphinxes without secrets, but at least they have noses.

male sadists can often be very humble people, except when their ejaculate goes
to their heads

I no longer attend dungeon parties. I dislike the feeling of deja-flog

it’s not a good idea to fall asleep when whipping someone, though it’s often
difficult to stay awake

I’m in favor of capital punishment, as long as it’s between consenting adults

a dom with a beltful of floggers is like a frenchman with a chestful of medals

a legend in his own toy-bag…

my fetish is nursing-home sex; you wait inside all day and nobody comes.

when a maso woman says “you’re breaking my heart”, it’s usually with a tone of
admiration

the critical period in establishing a polygamous household is breakfast

most people become confused when they get “things all mixed up”; d/s people
are more likely to blot out all reason and memory

a genuine male dominant makes a woman either shudder or surrender

dominance complicates a man’s character and simplifies his submissive’s

A true gentleman is someone who never leaves a mark unintentionally

I disapprove of the way you dress, but I will defend to the death your right
to dress that way–once I stop laughing uncontrollably

he has the sort of bdsm experience that only comes from years of experimenting
on rubber dolls

many people on FL complain about “drama”; that’s because they have no talent
for it–buffonery, slapstick, vaudeville and farce are all they’re capable of.

A true sadist is one who can hit harder than a masochist can stand. A true
masochist is one who can find such a sadist.

We can forgive those who know less than we do. We cannot forgive those who
know more than we do.

I once spent a year at a leather household — I think it was a Sunday.

Masters spend the first part of training teaching you how to walk and talk, and
the rest of it telling you to sit down and shut up.

when weird creatures at some fetish party waddle up to me and introduce
themselves as “Lady Gusset” or “Lord Merkin” or whatever, my reply is always
the same: “That’s ok. I’m sure its not your fault.”

By giving us the opinions of the uneducated, FetLife keeps us in touch with
the ignorance of the community.

One’s FetLife is so often the life that one does not lead.

The one charm about 24/7 bdsm is that it makes a life of deception absolutely
necessary for all parties.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are playing with our slave’s tits.

When good kinksters die, they go to Berlin.

Submissives begin by resisting a Dom’s advances and end by blocking his
retreat.

Submissives are made to be beaten, not understood.

I feel most at home in the kink community, not because it is intrinsically
more interesting, but because no one really belongs there any more than I do.
We are all there together in its wholly excellent vacuum.

Dominants were only made into such with great difficulty: the Dom is not
naturally dominant any more than the submissive. He has to be propped up into
that position with some ingenuity, and is always likely to collapse.

A Master, like his cousin the college professor, becomes one because it’s a
great excuse to stop learning anything.