Sometimes it’s not clear to the Dominant what aftercare is needed in a situation. On Friday mitda wasn’t able to do a certain something that we often do – limits change due to physical realities and what a masochist can take one day she may not be able to the next. I understand this, and I understood it at the time. After trying to push her to see if the limit was real, I backed off, lay down and told her to put her head on my shoulder, thinking she would interpret this as “it’s ok baby, we won’t do that tonight, we’ll do other things …”. Needless to say she didn’t, she interpreted it as “I’m tired, let’s beg off for the rest of the night.”.
So the care I thought I was giving her didn’t go over. And she needed care. This type of miscommunication is one of the most painful to me as a Dominant. And I’m using the word “Dominant” advisedly here, because when I make this kind of mistake I don’t deserve the title “Master”.
mitda and I will of course work it out. Other happenstances made the situation worse, things I couldn’t and can’t do anything about. But the mistake was still mine. She is sleeping now as I write this, softly snoring quite beautifully. And I know from this that things will always be ok between us, no matter what words or actions pass from our lips and hands.