After a number of fits and starts last year mitda decided to leave for good, or rather, having gone away for a visit, to not return for good.
It would be rather easy, given the number of people that hold that a “real” slave is incapable of leaving, to back-define mitda as a not-real slave. Obviously she wasn’t a real slave, look, she proved it, she left !
That kind of backwards, sefl fulfilling definition doesn’t appear to me to do anyone any real favours, however. People are nothing if not inconsistent, and certainly a good part of mitda was sincere in her desire to commit to being a slave. At the end that part didn’t win out, obviously, but it was powerful enough that she could only break the hold it had on her by making the decision to not return while thousands of miles away from the situation. As well as distance, as much as it is possible to do ( and I believe it is a very difficult thing to do ) mitda had to be the person she was prior to having met me in order to break that hold, with the result that she simultaneously had to drop everyone in her current social circle, both within and without the bdsm community, not simply everyone in the household, and literally act as if she was the person she was when we met over six years ago.
This has been a very painful experience for everyone involved, not least me of course, but also for those who considered themselves close friends of hers within the community and those in the vanilla surroundings, and suddenly find themselves dropped, in many cases without so much as a phone call to let them know she wasn’t returning to the area. And for me at least I had the background to understand why things were being done this way, while for others it simply felt like their feelings were being treated as less than unimportant. Hopefully if they come across this they will understand a little why things in some ways had to be done the way they were.
As far as emmie and I are concerned this wasn’t what we wanted to happen, but since it has happened it feels better than living with someone who has one foot in the door and one foot out. Now that the situation is resolved, even if not the way we wanted it to resolve, we can move on and ensure that the new situation goes the way we want it to to the best of our ability. The result has been a calmness and steadiness to the household that had been missing for a long time.
I hope people can do their best to understand both sides of the original situation and the way in which it became untenable, and understand now that there are two very different situations – Sheena’s new situation in Los Angeles, and my new situation with emmie in Austin.
