Domination and Mastery

Some people have misconstrued my posts on “Care” as the meaning of human being as a “life’s burden” type of attitude. Nothing could be further from the truth for me, as Care is a joy to me and not a burden. Being concerned with things, whether important or trivial, keeps me interested and alive in a way that flat, flitting curiosity could never do. Concern for the people close to me makes all the stupidities and difficulties that life throws at me worthwhile.

The other day emmie’s therapist asked “when does Das get time to decompress in that situation” or something to that effect, my decompression is the very thing of seeing the results of my concern come to fruition in whatever way they do, whether as a piece of software working, a server up and running, or a lover satisfied, a wife content, and a slave happy.

Often blogging helps a complex situation by clarifying how each person sees things that are happening. In our case we read each others’ blogs and other writing, and I find writing things out leads to a healthy self-discipline in being clear with each other and making less assumptions. Unfortunately emmie and I don’t always like to be that clear, she works out her thoughts until they are clear to her but not necessarily to anyone else, and I have an esoteric vocabulary that comes from a good deal of study.

It can get upsetting when your words seem clear to you but not to others, as mine often do. I’ve been making a concerted effort to be more clear in my language without modifying the intent of what I’m saying, hopefully it’s helping people get what I say without too much confusion : ).

I’ve noticed a lot of differentiation between Dominants and submissives in general, one of them being that Dominants don’t like to speak about WIITWD as much as submissives, whether due to censure or not we tend to be on the quiet side about M/s and bdsm in general.

I have written on the WIKI and blog in the past about total subjugation and its necessity as a part of the absolute enslavement process. In terms of this, while the one being enslaved does do a lot of the work in opening him/herself up to being owned, the actions of the Master are what put the slave into the appropriate place and thereby the appropriate relation to the Master. Subjugation takes many forms, from gentle chiding to more robust measures, but it seems to be necessary at least for the slaves I have that I push them, just that little beyond where they believe they can go in order to cement the enslavement process.