I wrote a post a little while ago separating abuse and bdsm. This post is to attempt to tease out the difference(s) between coercion and mastery.
Coercion is an act of the will, frustrated by opposition, to turn another will by the force of guile. Ultimately it is dishonest in its actions and in its intent, bending the will of another to its own advantage for the sake of furthering its will alone.
Mastery does not turn the other’s will, and certainly does not operate under any guise but its own open strength. It is functionally honest in both actions and intent, and its intent is to master the will of the other to the other’s own advantage, for the sake of furthering both wills and conjoining them together. Mastery is quiet in its manner and mode of going about things, because the noisy “will to power” of the mainstream hides a singular lack of power, a fundamental helplessness when it comes to either their outcomes or the outcomes of those over whom they exercise coercion.
Mitdasein
Refactoring code can be one of the most frustrating but ultimately rewarding exercises in programming. Essentially you take code that works but isn’t pretty and perhaps has performance issues and rework it into a proper design, making it easier to maintain, and, hopefully, better performing.
Relationships, maybe, go through some refactoring every so often. We don’t do it as formally, or even intentionally, but the overall structure of the relationship changes bit by bit until we suddenly find ourselves in a different configuration. And then maybe one should take the time to step back for a moment and survey the configuration and your place in it.
Our little quad has changed substantially over the last month or two. With emmie becoming a submissive and then a collared slave, and mitda pushing herself far further into IE / TPE than formerly, we’ve ended up with a very different power dynamic. Add to that emmie’s unexpected medical retirement and the set of relationships each of us is in is quite new.
Not that this is a bad thing. Far from it. I personally am enjoying the new configuration quite a bit. But that’s not to say it doesn’t bring its own new stresses and new responsibilities. I have a good deal to learn about emmie, for instance, in order to meet my responsibilities as her mentor and teacher. At the same time I have to keep up with mitda’s explorations to remain a good Master to her and to move as far along that vector as we can, especially since it was something I particularly wanted in the first place. But the configuration is still very new, and I hope I can settle into it as soon as possible.
Mitdasein
Someone commented that my chief complaint was my co-worker, not the people I co-habit with. Which of course is perfectly accurate. The last post was a bit of a tongue in cheek look at the complaints a Master gets when he doesn’t come up to snuff. As far as my complaints with mitda and emmie, well, I don’t have any. Which makes perfect sense. If I had a complaint with either of them it would be taken up and dealt with right away and then forgotten.
It doesn’t happen quite that easily for the Master, in that he has the responsibility for caring for his slaves and ensuring they have what they need. Which in this case is enough of the right sort of attention and recognition. And sometimes I don’t have sufficient energy, but more often I’m not entirely sure what kind of attention and recognition they’re in need of. And they can’t necessarily just tell me either, because they don’t know. It’s the job of the teacher to run ahead and find out what the student is in need of, procure it and provide it at the very time the student needs it. At this I’ve been falling down on the job a bit lately. I hope my wonderful girls will continue to understand the reasons and wait for me to get it together.
Mitdasein
Refactoring code can be one of the most frustrating but ultimately rewarding exercises in programming. Essentially you take code that works but isn’t pretty and perhaps has performance issues and rework it into a proper design, making it easier to maintain, and, hopefully, better performing.
Relationships, maybe, go through some refactoring every so often. We don’t do it as formally, or even intentionally, but the overall structure of the relationship changes bit by bit until we suddenly find ourselves in a different configuration. And then maybe one should take the time to step back for a moment and survey the configuration and your place in it.
Our little quad has changed substantially over the last month or two. With emmie becoming a submissive and then a collared slave, and mitda pushing herself far further into IE / TPE than formerly, we’ve ended up with a very different power dynamic. Add to that emmie’s unexpected medical retirement and the set of relationships each of us is in is quite new.
Not that this is a bad thing. Far from it. I personally am enjoying the new configuration quite a bit. But that’s not to say it doesn’t bring its own new stresses and new responsibilities. I have a good deal to learn about emmie, for instance, in order to meet my responsibilities as her mentor and teacher. At the same time I have to keep up with mitda’s explorations to remain a good Master to her and to move as far along that vector as we can, especially since it was something I particularly wanted in the first place. But the configuration is still very new, and I hope I can settle into it as soon as possible.
Mitdasein
This morning I sat working on my computer while mitda sighed a few times on the bed behind me at the extensive amount of time it was taking me to configure AIX. Sometimes I need to just do simple, mindless things on the systems I have, both to get them done and to relax myself, and it can be difficult for both mitda and emelina to understand that. Of course being with my girls relaxes me as well, but in a different way, and sometimes I need one or the other. Of course I was even more in for it later : ).
When emelina woke up I was treated to her complaints, which ranged from not being bound last night (there was no room if I held mitda, as mitda had requested, and I indulged her), and not having had a thrashing in too long, to sex being more intense between mitda and I than between her and I. Oddly mitda thinks sex is better between emelina and I, I suppose the sex must just look better than it is ; ).
So now they have gone to get emmie’s labs done. I’m slowly getting ready to leave myself so that I can be in to work somewhat early. My co-worker pissed me off again yesterday by not talking to me until 3pm then handing me a bunch of work. So I left at 5pm on the dot. Give me the work early and it might be done the day you give it to me, simple.
Mitdasein
“Acceptance of the inevitable does not guarantee experience of the necessary.”
Someone commented that my chief complaint was my co-worker, not the people I co-habit with. Which of course is perfectly accurate. The last post was a bit of a tongue in cheek look at the complaints a Master gets when he doesn’t come up to snuff. As far as my complaints with mitda and emmie, well, I don’t have any. Which makes perfect sense. If I had a complaint with either of them it would be taken up and dealt with right away and then forgotten.
It doesn’t happen quite that easily for the Master, in that he has the responsibility for caring for his slaves and ensuring they have what they need. Which in this case is enough of the right sort of attention and recognition. And sometimes I don’t have sufficient energy, but more often I’m not entirely sure what kind of attention and recognition they’re in need of. And they can’t necessarily just tell me either, because they don’t know. It’s the job of the teacher to run ahead and find out what the student is in need of, procure it and provide it at the very time the student needs it. At this I’ve been falling down on the job a bit lately. I hope my wonderful girls will continue to understand the reasons and wait for me to get it together.
Mitdasein
This morning I sat working on my computer while mitda sighed a few times on the bed behind me at the extensive amount of time it was taking me to configure AIX. Sometimes I need to just do simple, mindless things on the systems I have, both to get them done and to relax myself, and it can be difficult for both mitda and emelina to understand that. Of course being with my girls relaxes me as well, but in a different way, and sometimes I need one or the other. Of course I was even more in for it later : ).
When emelina woke up I was treated to her complaints, which ranged from not being bound last night (there was no room if I held mitda, as mitda had requested, and I indulged her), and not having had a thrashing in too long, to sex being more intense between mitda and I than between her and I. Oddly mitda thinks sex is better between emelina and I, I suppose the sex must just look better than it is ; ).
So now they have gone to get emmie’s labs done. I’m slowly getting ready to leave myself so that I can be in to work somewhat early. My co-worker pissed me off again yesterday by not talking to me until 3pm then handing me a bunch of work. So I left at 5pm on the dot. Give me the work early and it might be done the day you give it to me, simple.
Mitdasein
“Acceptance of the inevitable does not guarantee experience of the necessary.”
